One Little Word 2019

It's that time of the year again. . .time to select a guiding word for the upcoming year. If you've been around the blog for a while, you may know that I have been a follower of this practice since way back in 2008.

Yes, ten years ago, I selected one little word, with inspiration from Ali Edwards. Every fall since then, a word has whispered at my subconscious. Last year's word was "believe." If asked, I will tell you that I am a terrible goal-setter. It isn't that I don't have goals - I do. It's that the act of writing them down and putting them into words terrifies me.

That seems silly, doesn't it? What's the big deal? Goal: I want to lose 10 pounds. Goal: I want to plan menus every week. See, I can actually do it. But those aren't my "real" goals. . .or maybe they are. Perhaps this is one of those things that I make WAY harder than it really needs to be. For that reason, I choose the One Little Word philosophy over the goal-setting, resolution-making philosophy.

Finding Yourself - My Journey to Mindfulness

Somewhere in the middle of being a mother, wife, consultant, friend, volunteer and everything else, I've lost myself. Or I should say, I've lost touch with myself. There's precious little time for dreaming and just being and both of those things are crucial to a full well-rounded life.

This feeling of "unrest" or "restlessness" has been brewing for a while. Feeling overwhelmed by the day to day demands of my life. Not taking time for myself. And that's a choice - let me make that clear, my husband and kids fully support me doing my own thing. I just got into a cycle of putting everyone's needs before my own, and lost touch with myself.

So part of my journey this year, is to get back in touch with myself. What are my dreams? Where are John and I headed as our kids grow up and become more independent? It will be wonderful to spend time together as a couple, without our focus being on the kids.

So how am I getting back in touch with myself?

• Sticking to "office hours" as much as possible.
• Saying "yes" more to playing with my kids.
• Stopping what I'm doing to really listen to how the kids and John's day was.
• Making time for "couple time".

You could say that I'm becoming more "mindful". . .attempting to be more in the moment rather than rushing off to the next thing. But as I get older, I realize that we won't always be around, and I don't want to miss anything. I am blessed with this wonderful family around me, even when it's difficult. But it's all part of the journey.

When you feel at odds, how to do you "regroup" and get back in touch with yourself?

catch you soon -

school shootings are a tradgedy for everyone. . .

December 12, 2006

i got a txt that there was a shooting at the high school in our district from John. . .that's all I knew. . .

i immediately contacted my close friends with kids in the high school - the alleged location of the shooting.

we live close to the school - I could see and hear the helicopters hovering. . .I was home with my not-quite 2 month old baby. . .my oldest was in his 4th month of kindergarten. . .i have contacts to the media - I begged them for information - there wasn't much.

this was before Twitter.

i stood in my living room, listening to hovering helicopters 2 miles away, not knowing anything. . .

one of my friends that I called right away was able to get to the high school and get her girls and bring them home before everything got locked down and no one could leave.  she said there was mayhem and hysteria.  her girls were crying, scared and shaken up.

a boy killed himself - in the hallway of a small suburban high school.  Luckily no one else was physically hurt.

finally, an email with sketchy details arrived.  "Everyone was okay"

well as ok as anyone can be after their illusions of safety are shattered.

before that day we didn't have lockdown drills or procedures, we didn't have phone and email systems to notify parents ASAP if something should happen and provide instructions.  But immediately after that day we did.  We do.  They are practiced and discussed.

but that day changed me in some ways forever. . .that poor boy - his poor family - the heartbreak. . .thinking about it is devastating.  just writing this brings tears to my eyes because it is STILL happening - in school districts all over our country.  We kid ourselves that our kids go to a "good school", with "good people".  By all accounts and purposes Shane Halligan was a "good person" from a "good family" in a "good school district". . .

everytime I hear a story - as I did yesterday. . .it comes back to me - the fear.  the gratitude that we are so very lucky and that each and everyday is truly a gift from God.

thinking of all of you out there dealing with this situation - sending you all hugs and prayers for healing.

catch you soon -

christmas wishes. . .

so as one year closes out and another begins. . .as the kids play with new toys and i find room for them . . .as we take down the lights and decorations we spent a month placing in just the right spots. . .i start to think about where i've been and where i want to go. . .

for you loyal blog followers, you know this has been a tougher year than most for us - me getting laid off last January (YIKES a year since I had a paying job!) and John's stroke in August. . .but we made it through both of them so far - and are hopefully better and stronger than before.

so that's a bit on where i've been . . .

where am i going?  that's a good question. . .

i plan to continue with the One Little Word Project for 2011. . .I already have a word in mind, and I'd love to sign up for Ali's class at Big Picture Classes. . .not sure that's where I should spend money at this point though. . .

i'd like to open an Etsy shop this year, design a logo, update my blog design and my dream for the year is to get a paying job in the world of online content and social media.

now to develop a plan to achieve these things, while maintaining a family, home, and life. . .and bringing necessary income to our family coffers.

what are your christmas wishes or plans for the new year?

catch you soon -

campfires. . .

earlier this week i was left in charge of the family campsite. . .

i was sitting out there at the campsite alone - john and owen were napping and ryan and pop-pop were off on an adventure. . .i know nothing about camping or campfires.

i was a brownie - never a girlscout. . .

so i used my resources - google and my friend, Tecla whose son and husband are expert boyscouts!  with their help - i kept the fire going until the professionals returned and turned it into a "real" campfire.

the point of all this rambling - is how many times are we each faced with a "campfire"?

an unfamiliar situation that we are unsure of how to best navigate. . .what do we do? where do we turn? I turned to trusted friends and Google (the ultimate answer to everything). . .and with a little guidance, I did my best.  After all, that's all any of us can do - right? our best.

what campfires are you facing? how do you decide how to keep them going?

catch you soon -

i blog. . .therefore i am. . .

inspired by this post from the amazing CecilyK . . .and a tweet from this thought-provoking dad that I am getting to know via twitter. . .i started thinking about my own blog and why i'm here. . .

i missed my 5 year blogiversary - that was in July - the 16th.  so i've been at this for 5 years. . .

prattling on about my life and my opinions . . . living my life out loud (the term I am fond of using to describe what i do)  writing as if my little ol blog gets 100 hits a day. . .far, far, far from the actual # of hits.

but is 100 hits/day why I'm here?

to get "discovered"? (does that even happen in real life?)

what? why? hmmmmm. . .

since being laid off I've considered trying to turn my blog into a business - but it isn't a business - it's my life - in words and pictures

maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time with the "branding" and "niche" and all those corporate-esque words. . .maybe I should just blog. . .and enjoy it. . .and maybe start an etsy shop for my crafting. . .

maybe. . .what do you think?

catch you soon -

lilith. . .

the year was 1998. . .(to the best of my recollection)

the place. . .Philly/Camden waterfront for Lilith Fair

back in the day before I was a mom. . .before digital cameras were the norm - before cell phones fit in your FRONT jeans' pocket . . . when the venue was the Tweeter Center . . .

four hip girls with tickets to the hottest girl-power show ever. . .

the details are hazy - as this was before I took photos of everything and before I had a blog (or even knew what that was!). . .but 4 of us, me, Carla, Tanya and Anita headed into the city for a bite and drinks and then off to the fair.

i forget what restaurant we went to - it was brand new - hadn't gotten it's liquor license yet - so the nice gentlemen offered us jug wine for free . . .after all they weren't permitted to charge us . . .and off to the Fair we went - we drank, listened to music, hung out and had a wonderful and memorable time.

flash forward 12 years. . .lilith is coming again - I want to go. . .I send an email to some girlfriends - everyone is too busy. . .sigh. . .

my friend Missy, decides she's game  - so let's go.  Missy is a take-charge kinda girl and she got tickets and figured out a game plan.

things are so different - I needed to take care of some mom-duty stuff before I could head out - so we missed the early shows. . .we took the Ferry over and got to the venue - it looked surprisingly as i remembered it. . .despite the low turnout - the show was rockin and the performers were wonderful!  it was a toally fun night out with old and new friends, warm night air, and great music.

catch you soon -

the girl within . . .

sometimes in my life as a wife and mom - i forget the girl within me.

i have always been a "girly-girl" - I like to paint my toenails, I never leave the house without make-up, I love clothes, shoes and accessories. . .pink is my favorite color. . .

my life revolves around 3 boys these day - my loving husband and 2 sweet boys.  and while i wouldn't change a thing - I typically don't take a lot of time to nurture the girlie-girl within me.  but tonight - john took the kids for a walk in the neighborhood and i took advantage of the me-time.

i took a "real" shower - you moms know exactly what I mean - shaved, moisturized, put product in my hair, loofa'd my feet - the whole 9 yards. . .and i felt great when I was done - just in time for my guys to get back and spend the evening together.

what's a treat you miss now that you're a mom? or a dad?

catch you soon -