Hillary Chybinski: #endmommywars

Thursday, October 22, 2009


. . .so i read this great blog post over at Geek Girls by Meghan Wilker. . .

she encouraged her readers to blog about their own experiences with being a SAHM or a working mom - whichever is the current choice of your family.

my family chooses that i work. . .for financial and sanity reasons. . .i have an incredibly supportive husband, who would let me make whatever choice i felt best, and do his best to work with that. . .he helps around the house, he takes care of the kids - he's a great dad and husband and i couldn't manage half of what i manage without his help. even though i complain and grump -it has less to do with him, and more to do with life in general and how I'm feeling about it on that particualr day.

let's be honest - being a mom is no cake-walk. . .regardless of your circumstances - it is the most difficult, yet rewarding job in the world - I wouldn't trade it for anything - even though I have been heard to say i'd like to run away.

and as with anything - some days are better than others. we are blessed to live in a wonderful community with a wonderful school system. our youngest is in a fantastic daycare program 4 days a week.

drop-offs, pick-ups, and scheduling can be a NIGHTMARE. . .but we are making it work, becasue that's our choice. albeit somedays there is lots of yelling and stress involved. there are also days of bliss and joy, where we are so happy to see each other at the end of the day, and dad gets home early and all is right with the world.

what's your choice? do you stay at home? since i don't do that, i'm always curious how you fill your day (if your kids are in school). . .not in a judgemental way - a curious way. . .becasue when i was home, it wasn't for me - i felt i needed more. but let's be honest - many days when i'm at work, i wish i was home playing with my kids or scrapbooking - or more honestly, lying in a quiet house reading a book - LOL.

as Meghan talked about - we need to be supportive of each other where we are. . .whatever our decisions are. . .we are all linked simply by being moms - and we each have so much to offer each other. . .someone said "it takes a village". . .we're the village

catch you soon -


  1. Hillary -

    Thanks for writing this!

    Man, I think we'd *all* like to be at home reading a book. It's funny because I think we all sometimes have a "grass is always greener" view. My neighbor stays home with her kids and is so busy she hardly gets a moment to herself; the other day, we were both laughing about how sometimes working moms say "Oh, I wish I could stay home all day" as if that means we'd get to just chill. When, in reality, we're working our asses off whether we're in an office or at home. :)

    I LOVE this quote, "somedays there is lots of yelling and stress involved. there are also days of bliss and joy [...] and all is right with the world." That is so true, no matter who in the house is working or staying home.

    Great post, thanks so much for weighing in on the discussion.

  2. Ahhhh.. I truly dislike the Mommy wars.

    I've worked crazy TV hours with a newborn a 1 yr old and a 2 yr old and now I, of course, stay home. Except I am never home! I've never spent any part of a day reading and i actually blocked out on my calendar 3 hours of daytime stamping for my state fair entries.

    It does take a village and right now I spend a mimumum of 35 hours a month at the girls' school. One full morning each week in each class. I tutor a child with a reading deficiency three days a week during another part of the day. I am Secretary of the PTA which is board meetings, paperwork, and daily checks of the PTA mailbox for checks and such.... This week I have three Fall parties and a Nursery Rhyme Parade -- and a move! And I think I am selling pastries and pancake tickets for my service club.

    Here's the trade off. Joe just works. Leavs before the kids are awake. Returns at 6:00 after a run to find dinner on the table. The middle is all up to me. (Quick -- ask him what time school ends and who goes to Ballet on what day!)

    I watch the 11:00 news and talk back to it. The writing is atrocious! Every WTVD person I see tells me to come on in and get going again. I think I will. But after a Mom is expected in each class each day.

    It all shakes out for each family differently. No war necessary. What we often talk about here is my 20 years of employment, my savings, my investments, my home helped us get to where we are today. So my work years helped fund the home years. And so it goes...

    Stepping off soapbox now.. I have movers and Kindergarten in the AM :)