Hillary Chybinski: A Look Back at Nineteen Years of Marriage

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

A Look Back at Nineteen Years of Marriage

An Essay on Marriage | My Scraps
 I was not one of those little girls that dreamed about getting married. I didn't play "bride" and I'm not even sure my Barbie had a wedding dress (she MUST have - right?). But despite all that, I am lucky enough to be celebrating 19 years of marriage today - to the same man. That's a long time, and I am a lucky girl.

I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by friends and family that have had both successful and happy marriages, and some not-so-great marriages. I have friends going through really terrible divorces, and my heart aches for them. Not because my situation is so storybook (because it isn't - marriage is hard yo), but because the process of ending something and beginning new can be hard and scary. There is something for me to learn form all of them, and I'm grateful.

John and I met, in the parking lot of The Philadelphia Art Museum, on a January night in 1991. We were both attendees of a very memorable ski trip, organized by a mutual friend - we had never met before. He wasn't my typical "type" at the time, which is probably why it all worked out so well. Four years later, he proposed at the top of the Empire State Building and I said YES. That was before Twitter or Instagram - so there are no "selfies" from the event. But I remember it, as if it was yesterday. Down to the gigantic issue of Modern Bride I bought at the newsstand on the street the very same day.

We planned a fall wedding, and in front of family and friends exchanged our vows. We are both children of divorce, so whether that has impacted the way we approach marriage or not, I don't know. Marriage isn't easy, and we have had our share of issues. We work them out - together.

We have two wonderful boys and we work together to give our kids all the love and protection we can, with a supportive and nurturing extended family. I remember the first day we brought Ryan home from the hospital, set him on the coffee table and looked at each other, "What do we do now?" I asked him. We are very lucky, and I know that, even on days when I take it all for granted.

I am not the perfect wife - I probably never will be. But I work hard for the life and family that we have together. The love I feel is deeper than I can find the words to describe and to me, that is really what marriage is all about.

So dear reader, are you married? How long have you been married?

catch you soon -


  1. Happy anniversary! You caught a good one, Hil. You are both great together.